Monday Mindset #1
How fear and shame lead to procrastination. +helpful action steps and workbook.
"Fear is often coupled with disappointment, shame with deprivation, and opportunities pass by like clouds. Therefore, seize the opportunities for good."
~ Imam Ali
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Quranic Phrase:
"إِنَّ اللَّهَ لا يُغَيِّرُ مَا بِقَوْمٍ حَتَّى يُغَيِّرُوا مَا بِأَنْفُسِهِمْ"** (الرعد: 11)
Translation:"Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a nation until they change what is in themselves." (Qur'an 13:11)
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Biblical Phrase:
"Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity." (Ephesians 5:15-16)
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Quotes from highly effective people:
1. "Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity." – Seneca
2. "Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." – Thomas Edison
3. "The best way to predict the future is to create it." – Peter Drucker
2 things stop you from seizing the moment:
Fear
Shame
This quote of Imam Ali reminded me of Brene Brown’s work. So I started a little research, and made this post. I also designed a workbook to implement the wisdom you learn here into your daily life, you can get it for free at the end of this post.
The teachings of Imam Ali and the research of Brené Brown both delve into the impact of emotions such as fear and shame on human behavior. Imam Ali's quote, "Fear is often coupled with disappointment, shame with deprivation," highlights the profound effect these emotions can have. Fear, driven by anticipation of failure, often leads to disappointment when one avoids action or fails to overcome challenges. Shame, on the other hand, stems from a perceived lack of worth and results in deprivation, not just materially but emotionally.
Brown's research supports this, emphasizing that fear of failure and judgment can paralyze individuals, leading to avoidance and disappointment. Similarly, she explains that shame induces feelings of unworthiness, limiting one's ability to connect with others and pursue goals.
Both figures underscore how fear and shame can lead to procrastination. Scientific studies corroborate this, showing that fear of failure or judgment fosters procrastination, as does the sense of worthlessness tied to shame. Additionally, early-life trauma, such as Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), amplifies these emotions, making individuals more prone to procrastination and avoidance behaviors.
Addressing these issues requires self-compassion, acknowledging imperfections, and creating environments where vulnerability is embraced. Strategies like setting small goals, practicing self-kindness, and maintaining routines can reduce procrastination and help individuals manage fear and shame more effectively.
With that being said, let’s see how can we improve our daily lives and stop procrastination:
3 Action Steps to Implement:
1. Cultivate Awareness: Reflect on situations where you can make a positive change or act for the greater good.
Build a Mindfulness Practice
Daily Meditation:Practice mindfulness meditation for 10-20 minutes each morning. This helps clear mental clutter and enhances your ability to be aware of the present moment. Focus on your breathing and observe your thoughts without judgment.
Mindful Observation: During daily activities (e.g., walking, eating, commuting), focus on being fully present in that activity. Engage all your senses — sight, sound, touch, smell — to increase situational awareness.
Increase Emotional Intelligence
Self-Reflection:Spend time daily reflecting on your emotions. Ask yourself why you feel a certain way and how those emotions affect your decisions and interactions.
Empathy Practice: In conversations, focus on listening deeply and understanding the other person's emotions. This strengthens your ability to connect with others and recognize potential opportunities in your interactions.
Expand Your Perspective
Broaden Your Knowledge Base: Regularly expose yourself to new ideas through reading, podcasts, or discussions outside your usual interests. The more knowledge you have, the more patterns and opportunities you can recognize.
Journaling: At the end of each day, journal about your experiences and note moments where opportunities arose, whether seized or missed. Reflect on how you can become more aware in similar situations in the future.
2. Take Action Without Hesitation: When a good opportunity presents itself, don't delay. Build the habit of acting promptly and decisively.
a. Build the Habit of Small Actions
Daily Micro-Actions: Break down tasks and decisions into smaller, manageable steps. Commit to completing small actions every day. For example, if you hesitate to seize an opportunity, take one small step toward it immediately (e.g., send an email, make a call).
5-Second Rule: Use Mel Robbins' "5-Second Rule" — count down from 5 and take action before doubt creeps in. This simple technique helps you override hesitation and act on opportunities.
b. Reframe Fear of Failure
Shift Your Mindset on Failure: View failure as a learning experience rather than something to avoid. Each setback brings valuable lessons. Celebrate the fact that taking action, even with risk, leads to growth.
As
says: Dare to fail!Post-Action Reflection: After you’ve taken action, reflect on what worked and what didn’t. Ask yourself, “What did I learn from this?” This reinforces the idea that even imperfect actions yield growth.
c. Build Resilience Through Consistency
Commit to a ‘No Excuses’ Policy: When an opportunity presents itself, commit to taking action no matter how uncomfortable it feels. Train yourself to act on instinct instead of overthinking.
Create Accountability: Find an accountability partner or use tools like habit trackers. Sharing your goals with someone makes it more likely you’ll follow through and take action when opportunities arise.
3. Develop Skills and Confidence: Work on areas where modesty or hesitation might hold you back. Equip yourself with knowledge and skills to seize opportunities without fear.
a. Lifelong Learning Approach
Skill Mapping: Identify key skills that will enhance your ability to seize opportunities. These could be communication, negotiation, leadership, or specific technical skills. Make a learning plan for each one and set measurable goals.
Continuous Learning Schedule: Dedicate at least 30 minutes a day to learning or practicing a skill. This can be through reading, online courses, or hands-on experience. Mastery of skills provides a solid foundation of confidence.
b. Practice Public Speaking and Communication
Join Speaking Groups: Engage in activities that boost communication confidence, such as joining a public speaking group or volunteering to present at meetings. The more you practice, the more natural and confident you’ll become in other situations.
Elevator Pitches: Practice speaking about your ideas clearly and concisely, even when there’s no immediate need. This habit prepares you to act confidently and communicate effectively when opportunities present themselves.
c. Build Confidence Through Physical and Mental Posture
Posture and Body Language: Practice maintaining open, confident body language. Studies show that adopting powerful stances not only affects how others see you but also how you see yourself. This reinforces your self-assurance.
Visualize Success: Spend a few minutes each day visualizing yourself taking action successfully in upcoming opportunities. Mentally rehearsing success can boost your confidence when the moment comes to act.
You’ve got this! I dropped the link to the workbook here. It’s free!
Stop procrastinating on building your own life, you only get one.
Let me know what you think about this in the comments!