From Loneliness to Connection: Finding Joy in Celebrations

Yalda Night: Celebrating Traditions, Solitude, and Connection

In every school party or ceremony she would stand alone in a corner watching others in distress, all she wanted to do was to get out of that suffocating situation and take refuge in her comfy bed.

She wasn’t psycho-phobic, nor she hated having friends. Just that, other kids made too much noise and made her feel uncomfortable.

Family parties didn’t differ much. In each of them there was an isolated girl sitting in silence. (Spoiler: that girl was me.)

I hated parties because I had to be alone for hours.

So I avoided as much of them as possible.

I hustled to fit in, to make myself look normal, just like everyone else. But all that effort drained my energy and compromised my authenticity.

I would look around and think: “this might be the normal way of being, if I wanna belong I gotta look like them.” And I was totally wrong.

After failing this strategy, I learned to be okay with loneliness. I learned how to feel good, and belonged. This solitude made my character and I learned so much about myself, The Creator ( Allah), and the world.

Being okay with loneliness, reminded me of my roots, the light within and around me.

It was a paradox, the moment I savored it, I started to make friends.

I found my tribe, and I learned that instead of running from social interactions I’d better set healthy boundaries and respect those of others’.

I learned that sometimes you gotta take a step forward, out of your familiar zone, and meet new people. Writing on Substack was one of them, been six month here and I’ve met incredible people like

Moon Arica

,

Allison Riney

,

Viam

.

It always seemed like a miracle to me, an enchanting experience, when life shows the gifts that has in store for us. I never had writing or Substack on my goal list for 2024, yet here I am, connecting with creative writers passionate about building something meaningful to solve problems in this world. I belong no place. I belong to myself.

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You only are free when you realize you belong no place — you belong every place — no place at all.

- Maya Angelou

Finding your tribe, being okay with loneliness, and feeling belonged everywhere you go.

I have talked about these topics before, my focus today is pros and cons of attending ceremonies and parties as an introvert.

And I wanna start with the one that I loved but always struggled to enjoy: Yalda Night.

As you’re busy getting ready for Christmas, in my country, we’re gearing up to celebrate Yalda Night—an ancient tradition that’s as magical as it is meaningful.

Yalda, the longest night of the year, marks the winter solstice and is a celebration of light conquering darkness. It’s a night filled with poetry, laughter, and love, as families gather to reflect, share stories, and welcome the brighter days ahead.

A Glimpse into Yalda’s History and Traditions

The roots of Yalda Night trace back to ancient Persia. It is deeply connected to Zoroastrianism, where the triumph of the sun over darkness was celebrated as a renewal of life. On this special night, people would gather to stay up late, waiting for the dawn as a symbol of light’s victory.

Traditions today still reflect this ancient sentiment. Families come together to share a feast featuring red fruits like pomegranates and watermelon, symbols of life and fertility. They recite poetry, especially from the legendary poet Hafez, whose verses inspire introspection and hope. The warmth of the family hearth and the glow of candles remind us of the eternal fight against darkness, both literal and metaphorical.

❤️🍉But enough about my country for now—I’d love to hear from you. Do you have a similar ceremony that’s special in your culture? What traditions make it unique and meaningful to you? Share your story in the comments or restack this to inspire someone else to celebrate the beauty of togetherness.

Or

The Introvert’s Dance with Social Gatherings

As someone who’s always been on the quieter side, ceremonies like Yalda Night have a special duality. They’re enchanting yet overwhelming. For introverts, attending parties or ceremonies has its share of pros and cons:

🙂Pros:

1. Connection: Spending time with loved ones can help introverts feel grounded and valued.

2. Memory-Making: Even introverts can find joy in creating shared experiences that become treasured memories.

3. Personal Growth: Stepping out of your comfort zone, even briefly, can boost confidence.

😕Cons:

1. Energy Drain: Socializing for extended periods can leave introverts feeling exhausted.

2. Overstimulation: The noise, chatter, and bustle can sometimes be too much to handle.

3. Pressure to Perform: The expectation to appear “normal” can feel like sacrificing authenticity. But, when you learn to belong to yourself, there’s no more pressure to be normal.

Here’s the key: balance. Over time, I’ve learned that instead of avoiding such events, it’s better to set boundaries. Take breaks, find a quiet corner, and remember—it’s okay to step away when you need to recharge.

The Hidden Health Benefits of Connection

Despite the challenges, attending social gatherings has undeniable health benefits, even for introverts.

• Boosting Serotonin: Connecting with family and friends increases serotonin, the happiness hormone, reducing stress and boosting your mood.

• Fostering Longevity: Studies show that strong social ties can lead to a longer, healthier life.

• Strengthening Bonds: Regular gatherings help maintain and nurture relationships, giving you a sense of belonging and support.

A Note of Inspiration

Loneliness taught me the value of connection. It showed me that solitude isn’t the absence of company but the presence of yourself. And when you embrace your authentic self, life surprises you with the right people, the right moments, and the most unexpected joy.

As Maya Angelou beautifully said:

“You are only free when you realize you belong no place — you belong every place — no place at all.”¹

So, this Yalda Night, whether you’re lighting a candle in solitude or laughing in a room full of loved ones, remember to embrace the moment. Cherish the connections you have, set the boundaries you need, and let the light—both within and around you—shine brightly.

Your turn: What’s a unique tradition from your culture that brings people together? I’d love to hear about it in the comments! 👇

1. Okay, now you know how much I love this quote as I used it twice in my post!