From Chaos to Clarity: A Simple Exercise to Reset.
Reclaim Your Focus and Priorities in Just Four steps.
When you keep saying I'm busy, you'll never be free
When you constantly say I don't have time, you will never find time
When you keep saying I will do it tomorrow, that tomorrow will never come.
-Anonymous
Hi, my name is Daisy. I’m in my twenties and like other people my age, I have a lot of things to do, but I also have a lot of uncertainties. I don’t know if they’re right or wrong. I don’t know which one to prioritize cause I have no idea which one will make me rich and happy faster. Even if somehow I found an idea to pursue, I don’t know how to do it. I wanna study, start my own business ( that miraculously makes me rich in 5 years or less), have a romantic relationship, make my parents proud, have fun with friends, exercise and learn how to play piano, and if I have enough time in my busy imagination, travel all over the world ( with my personal jet of course ✈️). Yet, I feel like I’m losing ground.
I hate doing boring, basic stuff; I don’t have time for that! Everything is falling apart, and teenagers become millionaires. ( see I’m missing the boat!)
I don’t know what I’m good at, so Ikigai is a joke to me. I don’t know what the world needs either, and please don’t ask me what can I get paid for, cause I don’t know how to monetize things.
I’m used to the order: someone teaches me something and tells me what to do and how to do it; I’m conditioned to follow a safe path. I don’t know who I am, so I don’t have clear boundaries, values and purposes. My expectations of myself aren’t realistic as well. But instead of revealing this vulnerability, I just say: I’m a perfectionist. What a waste of words!
I wanna become successful, and I wanna help people but not that much that they can surpasse my mark, but I never tell this to people, because what normal person tells people they are selfish?
I hate socializing, but they say it’s normal. So I wear funny masks:
Perfectionist for work.
Cool for college.
Happy for friends.
Mannerly for parents.
And so on.
But under those masks? I’m lost.
I don’t know what to do, so simply I distract myself or just disappear, not physically though, I don’t have that luxury in my life. And instead of putting the hard work into what I love, I keep dragging my heels.
Distraction has become a way of living for me. And it helped me pretty well, until it didn’t.
It kinda destroyed my life.
And now, here I am: a lost girl in her twenties who doesn’t know what to do with her life.
Hi, I’m Daisy.
What described above is called a crisis. Name it what you like: quarter-life crisis, existential crisis, or just an-annoying-young-fella-nagging-all-the-time crisis.
It doesn’t change the essence of the problem: chaos.
When we’re used to a routine, life becomes simple. We can predict what will happen next and this makes us feel safe.
But sometimes, we face problems. That’s where our routines fail us and we begin to doubt ourselves, our beliefs and others.
We’re taught to follow instructions at school: Doing A leads you from B to C.
But when we enter our twenties and get away from that system, we see that the instructions don’t apply.
In the real world, doing A doesn’t always lead to C; sometimes, we keep spinning our wheels.
That’s when we begin to doubt. And our clear vision suddenly becomes a blurry picture that shatters each time we try to look through.
Busy- blurry mind is a sign of chaos, a dizzying rush of tension and confusion that grips your chest, scrambles your thoughts, and makes the world feel like it’s spinning just out of reach. It’s the absurd, messy dance of life spiraling out of control, where you laugh because crying would take too long.
The easiest way to handle it? Distraction.
The right way to handle it? Turning a corner.
What do I mean by that?
You will feel the pain in your life, like everyone else. There’s no change in that, but you can choose your pain.
You have to handle the twenties crisis somehow, like everyone else. But you can choose your battles.
It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see.
- Henry David Thoreau
You don’t have to wait to become smarter, richer, or whatever to be happy. Waiting for reaching a milestone to be happy makes you overwhelmed, like you’re running on a treadmill and expect to move forward.
You can fight for your life and be happy, you can have a heartbreak and heal, you can fail and love yourself. A slight change of perspective; enjoying the process, getting your hands dirty and doing the hard work, practicing in patience.
Your goal is not to inherit a jungle, it’s to nurture a seed and watch it grow.
It’s embracing the chaos, because :one must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star.1
And if you don’t, you’ll end up following a wrong path. One-night success is named wisely: it makes you happy for one night, after that you’ll have to pay the price, and most of the time, it’s out of your budget.
If you're always busy and never have time for what you really enjoy,
my friend, you’ve lost your way.
You’ve taken on responsibilities that aren’t yours, chased goals you didn’t choose, and followed motivations that don’t truly belong to you. You picked them up to please others or avoid something important.
But somewhere along the way, you forgot what truly matters to you. Now, you're stuck in a cycle that leaves you drained and disconnected from your own needs and desires. It's time to pause, reflect, and ask yourself: What do I really want? Because if you don't, you'll keep running in circles, always too busy to live the life you truly want.
To help you regain control and get back on track, here’s a simple 4-step exercise that can guide you in making clear, purposeful decisions and setting your priorities:
4-Step Exercise to Make Priorities and Decisions:
Clarify Your Values:
Take a moment to reflect on what truly matters to you. What are the things that light you up, that align with your deepest beliefs and desires? Write them down.We have an exercise to discover our interests and values, you can read it here if you’d like:
Evaluate Current Responsibilities:
Look at all the things you're currently committed to. Are they in line with your values, or are you doing them just to please others or avoid being discomfort? Assess their true importance. Write down your daily and weekly tasks, even the smallest ones. Write how each of them makes you feel about yourself, good or bad? Now write why you do each of those things, and whether you are good at it or not. Determine their priority and necessity according to your values and goals.Here is a guide on how to set yourself free from survival traps and build your authentic life, with a deep look at human life and 16 journal prompts:
Identify What to Let Go:
Ask yourself, "What responsibilities or goals can I release that aren't serving me?" Letting go of things that don't align with your core values is key to freeing up space for what really matters.Set Clear, Intentional Goals:
Based on your values, create a clear list of goals that excite you and contribute to your well-being. Break them into smaller, actionable steps so they feel achievable.
Sounds so abstract? No worries. I made a flowchart for myself, inspired by Shadé Zahrai and Heisenberg, and I’m sharing it with you here.
In this algorithm, your skill, interest, priority and goals, values and mental state are considered. But the main focus is mental health, because it’s threatened in the time of chaos. Of course, the goal is not to always follow this algorithm, because life is never predictable.
So when is this algorithm for?
If you’re drowning in work, and if this is affecting your mental and spiritual health, this method can help you find a way from chaos to clear thinking. You can personalize it for yourself.
Flowchart for Decision-Making and Prioritizing:
To put it in other words:
Does it make me feel good or drained about myself?
Good → Go to step 2.
Drained → Evaluate why and consider letting it go.
Does this align with my skills and interests?
Yes → Go to step 3.
No → Consider if it’s worth your time or energy.
Is this task connected to my long-term goals?
Yes → Proceed and make it a priority.
No → Reassess its value and purpose.
Does it fit my personal values and well-being?
Yes → Commit to it.
No → Let go or delegate.
Do I have the time and energy to commit to this right now?
Yes → Make it a priority.
No → Reassess your schedule and find balance.
By using this exercise and flowchart, you can start to make decisions based on clarity and purpose, not just on what others expect or what feels most urgent. When you make space for what truly matters to you, you’ll find a renewed sense of direction and peace in your life.
Before we recap, if you’re struggling with making decisions in the pitfall of dilemma, read this:
To make better decisions we need to:
Find and change the old patterns that aren’t serving us now
Know who we are ( our boundaries, abilities and limitations, vision, purpose and values)
Don’t build your life on short happiness, what you feed your soul matters. Let yourself get bored and create something that you really care about.
Be curious and courageous to leave your comfort zone and build experiences. Fail, learn and grow.
You’ve made it this far, navigating the chaos of your twenties, the uncertainty, the confusion—and that’s something worth acknowledging. But remember, the confusion doesn’t have to last forever. You’re not meant to be stuck in this storm.
By pausing to reflect, using tools like this exercise, and making intentional choices about your time and energy, you can regain control and find your way through the noise. You deserve to live a life that aligns with your values, passions, and dreams, not someone else’s idea of success.
It’s okay if you don’t have it all figured out yet—no one does. But every step you take towards clarity, no matter how small, is a step toward the life you’ve been searching for. You’ve got this. You’ll find your own path, one that’s uniquely yours.
Embrace the chaos, build your authentic life.
How do you handle chaos? Tell us in the comments below 👇
Nietzsche.